Culture - On Music and Erasure

 Culture - On Music and Erasure

So normally when playing d&d in person, I score all my games.

Obviously, with covid and everyone playing remote now, I haven't been doing scoring because it's kind of a technical headache.

We played the other week though when Emry was in town in person, and I kicked on my old playlist.

And realized it didn't really fit though. Because it's mostly western fantasy music. A lot of European/American film scores and things like that.

Thinking I should source more Asian music, more Chinese, Japanese, Mongolian, etc.

And then I realized I've never actually composed any Asian music really (I did a couple Japanese style tracks back in uni) but nothing since then.

I've composed a lot of Western music, studied Italian masters, German composers, messed around with modern rock styles and transitioned into instrumental and post-rock.

Only extremely rarely studying Japanese rock music. But my knowledge of their styles and work are mostly confined to video games or anime.

And I'm thinking a lot about that invisible erasure I didn't know existed until today.

And I grieved this missing piece of myself, stolen perhaps by colonialism and my own missing ignorance.

Life - Fault

Life - Fault

Sometimes, no amount of being told "It's not your fault." sticks. In your head and heart, you always just hear;

"It's your fault."

Over. And over.

It's your fault.

It's your fault.

It's your fault.

The words twist around and around. Over and over in your head. These are personal failings. They are raw wounds that ache invisibly.

Life - Forget

Life - Forget

To be willingly forgotten, is to be cast away and the memory removed.  To be willingly forgotten.  To pretend the memories never existed, and pretend and wish and dream so hard that they never did.  To alter truth, and time, and space.  To willingly forget you knew a person.  To cast them adrift, in a sea of nothings that had never been, and become to one another as strangers again.

Without the light of acknowledgement in your eyes, did we ever know each other once?

I am pleased.

To have made your acquaintance.