Education - Discrimination and Burdens of Informing

Education - Discrimination and Burdens of Informing

After four invitations to join a private anti-racism theatre group (which so far has turned out...reasonably well) one of the first actions is to introduce yourself and to post/share something on the subject in order to enrich fellow artists and practitioners.

I eventually settled on Azudi Onyejekwe's https://thetheatretimes.com/the-dangers-of-optical-illusionary-performative-activism/

But I agonized over the many thoughts and possibilities I could've put up. Actually what took me so long was that I felt exhausted.

Quotes - Suffering

Quotes - Suffering

Sometimes, people are mad at you because you are not suffering in the way that they expected you to.

Life - Frustrations

Life - Frustrations

I am getting increasingly tired of the amount of communicative labour my friends unconsciously demand of me. The pressure to be the one who organizes people, who get them in contact, who finds information, who works at being helpful.

It's gotten to the point where the perception that having been a 'stage manager' means that I somehow like being the one who has to pull teeth to get emails or phone numbers, event starts, locations, maps, or even just check in constantly with people so they will arrive on time to a gathering, is beginning to make me furious.

You're grown adults. Take notes. Text a heads up if you're going to be late. Let someone know where you're at. Google maps the best route. Remember the information I LITERALLY SPELLED OUT. Why am I the one who has to do all this work as though you're still first-year acting students?

Please. Grow. Up.

Life - Falling Out

Life - Falling Out

You asked me once. To not share my writing with you anymore. It was too heavy, it hurt too much. It was too emotional for you.

So I stopped.

I never mentioned my writing to you again.

But I did not cease.

Game Design - Inside Tip

Game Design - Inside Tip

Let me give you an inside tip.  Game designers, game developers, game programmers...none of us sit around and debate to each other about some kind of weird mythical set of guidelines that define whether what we make is a 'game' or not.  This whole stupid debate around needing a fail state, needing gameplay, needing player choice or player motivation in order to make something a game?

None of us are talking about that.  We are talking about metrics, UX design, UI design, narrative, story, character driven scenes.  We're talking about tuning numbers, watching playtests, coming up with concept.  We are staring at code, long sheets of xml data, inputting weird database numbers and looking at what comes back.

We're watching lines of graphs printed out for us in real time and trying to draw conjecture out of it.

But let me tell you, none of us are sitting around asking each other if what we're making is a game or not.  Nobody cares.  We're making it, if it has any kind of interaction at all, and isn't a piece of productivity software, it's a game.  We don't debate that part, we just make games.  Lists of assets come down, milestones get declared, we tune the controls, replace big grey boxes with interesting things, watch people play and take notes.  Not even the dumbest intern at the lowest level of EA ever asks some senior dev "Is this really a game though?"  It just doesn't happen.

Just because you didn't like Gone Home? Just because you thought To The Moon was too linear? Just because you thought there's no difference in the narrative to Journey?  That's your problem.  Those games, perhaps are not for you.

I have a secret, not all games are for everyone.  In fact, I would even posit that many games are not for many people.  There is A game out there for everyone, but not every game is for every one.  That's a sad truth of the matter.  Some people like more guns, less guns, more blood, fewer jump scares, more jump scares. Some people like more variety in the art, others don't care about pixel art, maybe some people like vector, or painted styles.  Some of us like voice over, others are perfectly content with blocks of text.  Sometimes you want hip hop music in your game, I would think you're crazy because I like orchestra or minimalism, but I get that you like hip hop in your game.

Does that make sense?  Just because someone else sees the value in a game doesn't mean their opinion isn't valid.  But having weird little internet arguments over what are subjectively 'good' or 'bad' or 'not even' a game, games?  That doesn't even make any damn sense.  And beyond that, you're actively treading on people's REAL LIFE agency.  You're telling them what they can or can't love.  And why.  And the reasons you are presenting are stupid.

Criticize tangible things, like disagreements about flow, or textures, or functionality.  Criticize community, or policing, or the company's EULA.  But you want to tell a developer that their game isn't a game?  Well my immediate response to you will be "Your face, isn't even a face."  I mean what?  Your statement doesn't even make any OBJECTIVE SENSE.

Get over it.

And stop being so offended that I muted you that you went to harass my friends.  We're not in grade school any more.

Get.
Over.
It.

Life - On Pax

Life - On Pax

It's taken me a few days, but I've started to put some of my thoughts to paper finally.  I make...literally...no secret of the fact that Pax is reliably one of the best times of the year for me.  For six years now, we've been attending Pax as gamers, and I now attend it as well as a developer.

For those that don't know, Pax is a conflagration of gamers hitting Seattle for the Labour Day Weekend.  Over 4 days, games are literally celebrated.  If you play games, there's probably something at Pax for you.  And I don't just mean video games, although video games are a considerable part of that.  Exhibitors show off the latest and upcoming in video games, technology and merchandise.  Tabletop, board games, pen and paper, card games and deck building all show up and are played extensively everywhere.  You literally can't walk fifteen feet without tripping over someone in a hallway playing Zombie Dice or Cards against Humanity.  There are massive tournaments and tiny tournaments for games, everything from Towerfall tournaments to the League of Legends Championship Series that encompasses a hall for probably 5000+ people.  People bring their personal computers and set up a massive LAN play area, there are retro consoles, and D&D, there are huge tournaments and a hundred panels to attend.

There's something for everyone, in our crazy community.

Inspiration - Be Loud

Inspiration - Be Loud

We are oft reminded that we live in a shitty world, with shitty human beings. So when reminded of that, maybe the rest of us need to step up and be loud, be loud and say no, that we will not accept their hatred, that we will not accept their harassment or their abuse. We need to step up and say loudly that we do not condone their actions, that we are not represented by them and their hate, and ill will.

Be counted, friends. Be counted and bring more light into the world, and be LOUD.

This is mostly a post in response to the threats of violence against Anita Sarkeesian.  Response might not be the correct word, but in support of the difficulties she, and many other women in vocal positions are in when threatened.  It isn't right.  I say again it isn't right that they be attacked in such a way, it isn't right that they be attacked in any way that threatens, demeans, degrades or abuses them.  We discourse that we might enlighten, challenge, illuminate, and debate.  We do not commit attacks upon each other because we disagree.

Freedom of speech does not preclude one from the freedom of responsibility of actions.  I hope those who are filled with the threat, imagined or otherwise of violence are brought to justice.