Education - Discrimination and Burdens of Informing

Education - Discrimination and Burdens of Informing

After four invitations to join a private anti-racism theatre group (which so far has turned out...reasonably well) one of the first actions is to introduce yourself and to post/share something on the subject in order to enrich fellow artists and practitioners.

I eventually settled on Azudi Onyejekwe's https://thetheatretimes.com/the-dangers-of-optical-illusionary-performative-activism/

But I agonized over the many thoughts and possibilities I could've put up. Actually what took me so long was that I felt exhausted.

Quotes - Iron Weights

Quotes - Iron Weights

"My friend, Magda, tells me every time I say something bad about myself, I am putting iron weights in my pockets. Sooner or later, you’ll drag yourself down and not be able to get up. Be kind to yourself, Mr. Caleb. I don’t want your pockets to get too heavy." -Calianna, to Caleb on Critical Role

Fandom - Star Wars

Fandom - Star Wars

Listen. I get it. Maybe Star Wars wasn't for you, certainly the prequel movies weren't that great, you never understood the fandom, you never bothered with the comics or the books, the toys it all seems so surreal.

But now that we, the geeks, the nerds, the star wars fans, the 501st, have something to be really proud of? Don't ruin that for us. We aren't in high school anymore, there's no cred that you need to appeal to hold on to. Don't ridicule people for loving what they love. And certainly don't ridicule them when all they want to do is share their enthusiasm for it with you. If it still isn't for you? Sure, fine, fair. But if you want to rag on it because it's popular finally?

That makes you a jerk.

Wrap Up - 2014

Wrap Up - 2014

2014.  You were not all you could have been.  You were a year that was filled with struggles.  A year where for three months, we had our noses to the grindstone, where we worked 16-18 hours a day.  Where we created, and we were uncertain, where we worried and worked and struggled.  2014.  Graduated another program, made a bunch of artistic works.  Floundered.

Got sick.  Really sick.  Saw the insides of more hospitals than I wanted to.  For myself and for those around me.  A depressing reminder of our own mortality.  Of new problems, of old aches.  Of needles, and taking blood, of medication and forms and talking to experts.  Of broken bones and drifting through the darkness.  Of taking time off.

I hate taking time off 2014. But I took two months off.  Two months away from art, away from work.  Two months spent reading, and thinking, and contemplating the mysteries of the universe.

Got back to it.  Made a game, and another, and another. Made things that were important to me. Close to my own heart, for no one else.  Things I'd never release, but demanded outlet.

Got hired, worked for a while on games. Met people, started again.

It was a year for dungeons and dragons. Got a commendation from Wizards as a Dungeon Master. Got recognized by other dungeon masters, other gamers, other players.  My work was put on the spotlight, new designs, new ideas and bridging interesting gaps.

It was a year for getting back into Magic.  Throwing cards down, building decks and finally organizing myself.  For getting my competitive edge back, and learning new formats, interesting formats, and new friends to play with and against.

It was a year of finding time for online friends.  Reconnecting, tweeting, engaging.  A year of letting go of the people who don't care, and finding communities who do.

You were a year of hardships for everyone.  A year of darkness.  A year that was filled with people dying, of sadness, of going quietly in the night.  You were a year of ugliness.  A year where a bleak parts of humans became unveiled.  Where communities we are close with showed an ugly side.  You were a year of misogyny, and hate, and viscera.  You should not be proud of that as your legacy.  The legacy of having divided communities where we worked hard to be inclusive, to be better, to be futurists and to be welcoming.  But now we are working hard to cut away the bad parts you have revealed.

You were a year where 114 children were gunned down at a school.

That's not a good thing.

But there were bright points as well. However few and far between.  A year where I reconnected with people, and close friends. A year of messages, and skype, and late night chats.  Of hugs. Of holding hands into the night. Of sitting close and laughing, telling jokes and sharing laughter.  They are bright moments that we remember, cast against the darkness that we might see luminescence.

Courage.  It was a year of finding courage.

2014. We are glad to be saying good night to you tonight.  You were not a great year.  You will hopefully be remembered as being relatively unremarkable, but we shall recall the truth.  You were a dark time. And we hope that in bidding you and your darkness goodbye, that the future might be a better one.

2015.  There's a different world out there.  We're still sorting it out. There's a lot of crazy things happening, where we're all still coming into ourselves because we don't know a lot of things.  But we're figuring it out.

2015. I for one am ready. I'm getting back to work. I took some time off last year, and it became clear that the rest of the world wasn't interested in waiting. So it's time to lace up these boots and get on with it.  There's a lot to be done, and no sense giving it to anyone else to do. Let's get on with it and fix the world.

It needs fixing. In case you didn't notice.

Game Design - Inside Tip

Game Design - Inside Tip

Let me give you an inside tip.  Game designers, game developers, game programmers...none of us sit around and debate to each other about some kind of weird mythical set of guidelines that define whether what we make is a 'game' or not.  This whole stupid debate around needing a fail state, needing gameplay, needing player choice or player motivation in order to make something a game?

None of us are talking about that.  We are talking about metrics, UX design, UI design, narrative, story, character driven scenes.  We're talking about tuning numbers, watching playtests, coming up with concept.  We are staring at code, long sheets of xml data, inputting weird database numbers and looking at what comes back.

We're watching lines of graphs printed out for us in real time and trying to draw conjecture out of it.

But let me tell you, none of us are sitting around asking each other if what we're making is a game or not.  Nobody cares.  We're making it, if it has any kind of interaction at all, and isn't a piece of productivity software, it's a game.  We don't debate that part, we just make games.  Lists of assets come down, milestones get declared, we tune the controls, replace big grey boxes with interesting things, watch people play and take notes.  Not even the dumbest intern at the lowest level of EA ever asks some senior dev "Is this really a game though?"  It just doesn't happen.

Just because you didn't like Gone Home? Just because you thought To The Moon was too linear? Just because you thought there's no difference in the narrative to Journey?  That's your problem.  Those games, perhaps are not for you.

I have a secret, not all games are for everyone.  In fact, I would even posit that many games are not for many people.  There is A game out there for everyone, but not every game is for every one.  That's a sad truth of the matter.  Some people like more guns, less guns, more blood, fewer jump scares, more jump scares. Some people like more variety in the art, others don't care about pixel art, maybe some people like vector, or painted styles.  Some of us like voice over, others are perfectly content with blocks of text.  Sometimes you want hip hop music in your game, I would think you're crazy because I like orchestra or minimalism, but I get that you like hip hop in your game.

Does that make sense?  Just because someone else sees the value in a game doesn't mean their opinion isn't valid.  But having weird little internet arguments over what are subjectively 'good' or 'bad' or 'not even' a game, games?  That doesn't even make any damn sense.  And beyond that, you're actively treading on people's REAL LIFE agency.  You're telling them what they can or can't love.  And why.  And the reasons you are presenting are stupid.

Criticize tangible things, like disagreements about flow, or textures, or functionality.  Criticize community, or policing, or the company's EULA.  But you want to tell a developer that their game isn't a game?  Well my immediate response to you will be "Your face, isn't even a face."  I mean what?  Your statement doesn't even make any OBJECTIVE SENSE.

Get over it.

And stop being so offended that I muted you that you went to harass my friends.  We're not in grade school any more.

Get.
Over.
It.

Wil Wheaton - Advice for Baby Violet

Wil Wheaton - Advice for Baby Violet

Lifted from Wil's blog post, because it deserves restating.

Wrap up - 2013

Wrap up - 2013

2013, a year of travel, of friends, art and hard work.  A lot more sunrises and sunsets then I usually see.  A lot more drawing, a lot more coding.  A lot of moments, a tremendous amount of fun.  A bit of sadness, a lot of truth.  Some difficulty, some hardship, and a lot of change.

It was a year of seeing more of the world, of shaking hands, of meeting people.  Of adding friends, saying hello, sharing jokes, and laughs, and beers under a cerulean sky.  It was a year of selfies with my peeps, of late night laughs with Kristi, Cole, Keith, Ben, Tessa, Eric and Amber.  It was a year of sampling bagels in another place.  It was a year of eating on the pier as seagulls wandered over to have a chat.  It was a year of standing arms open and waiting.

Rants - Steve Albini - The Problem With Music

Rants - Steve Albini - The Problem With Music

THE PROBLEM WITH MUSIC


This oft-referenced article is from the early ’90s, and originally appeared in Maximum Rock ‘n’ Roll magazine. While some of the information and figures listed here are dated, it is still a useful and informative article. And no, we don’t know how to reach Steve Albini.

-Negativland

Gabe - Dad Stuff

Gabe - Dad Stuff

I was driving in the car yesterday with my son who is currently 8. It was just the two of us and the song Same Love by Macklemore came on the radio. I like the song but I looked over and saw that Gabe was being really quiet. He was obviously thinking. You can always tell when an eight year old is working through something in their head. I listened to the lyrics and thought “wow here it comes. He’s gonna ask about what it means to be gay and I gotta have an answer ready,”

So I started working through my response in my head. “son” I’d say “sometimes boys love girls and girls love boys. But sometimes boys love boys and girls love girls. That’s what being gay means and there’s nothing wrong with it that’s just how some people are born. Some people might tell you that being gay is bad but that’s not true.  In fact there are people we love, friends and even people in our family who are gay.” I felt like that was a pretty solid start. Obviously I’d need to go into the concept of gay marriage and try and explain why certain people don’t like it. I’d need to talk about religion and how that colors certain people’s views. I figured I would play by ear after that and field any follow up questions as they came.

Sure enough he said “can I ask you something Dad?”

“Sure buddy” I responded

He turns to me and asks “do you think Master Chief could beat a Kaiju all by himself?”

Please be eight forever son.

-Gabe out



I just really adored this little snippet into parenting, thoughtfulness and geekery.  Adore.

Society - Wesly Hall

Society - Wesley Hall

Wesley Hall wrote the following...rant?  Essay?  Reflection?  I don't even know, but it's incredibly eye-opening.  A part of it is of course in response to the Zimmerman/Trayvon racial controversy that has been taking the states by storm.  But it also provides a deep and somewhat chilling look at how our society views itself, and what we need to grapple with.

Thoughts - On Attractiveness

Thoughts - On Attractiveness

RsonW wrote this, a simple contemplation on attractiveness, and gendered stereotypes.

Advice - On Boredom

The point of feeling bored in a long car ride is to learn patience.

You sit there, with nothing to do but wait. You're trapped, you have nowhere to go. You can stare out the window, but there's nothing new. It's just an eternity of monotony.

But the truth:

There's no eternity of monotony. Sit there, and eventually you'll get to where you're going, through no action of your own. Things change if you do nothing. Things change if you be patient, quiet down, and simply wait.

You get what you want, that is, to get to your destination, through doing an action: wait in silence while nothing happens.

Want to avoid knee-jerk reactionism? Spend five hours driving without a radio to listen to.

Want to think rationally after a fight? Sit in a room with your anger and stare at a wall until you fall asleep.

Meditation is little more than letting the nothingness of what is happening to you overtake you.

Boredom is resistance to that nothingness.

Life - Set Time Aside

Life - Set Time Aside

I have a smart phone.  I have a smart phone of the latest brand, and quality, running the latest operating system.  I have a smart phone that hooks up to a bluetooth headset that I can control with the sound of my voice, and I'm teaching it to respond to my eye movements (the galaxy s3 is a wonder).  I have a computer that is always on, and a myriad of very specific, encrypted ways to get into it from wherever I am so I can access my data, be they pictures, or music, or algorithms, save files, programs, utilities.

Amanda Palmer - The Art of Asking

Amanda Palmer - The Art of Asking

I just recently watched a quick Ted Talk by Amanda Palmer, called The Art of Asking.  It is a pretty recent one and is currently going viral all over the 'interwebs'.

http://www.ted.com/talks/amanda_palmer_the_art_of_asking.html

I'm writing this post as a place holder intending to reflect considerably more on it later.  But thought I'd share it for now.

Advice - On Moving On

Advice - On Moving On

One of my hobbies...reading the bestof threads in Reddit once in a while.  People are on occasion truly eloquent or give advice or moments of clarity in a way that you had never truly considered before.  This one is a piece from a person with the nickname 'ChubbyDane' who wrote in response to someone saying "How do I move on?"