Friday, June 22, 2012

Life - Goodbyes

Life - Goodbyes

I often like to say life is a series of meetings, and partings.

Some are more abrupt than others, some you see from a long way away.  Often in life we can but hope that the time of partings is short, and the time of meetings is long.  But without one, the other would never be so sweet, or so sad.  This week has been a series of partings for me.

They are bittersweet.  So many friends over the 8 years I've been here.  To try and see everyone, to catch up on everything, impossible.  And life unfortunately gets in the way, while I've made so much time to pack and sort my life out, of course everyone cannot help but go about their own business, work has to happen, theatre must go on, money must be earned and art waits for no one.  I don't think I expected everyone to make it out or even in many cases to get even a passing mention, but the outpouring of excitement, love and emotion at the leaving has been overwhelming.

It's exciting, a little terrifying too.  Change coming on so rapidly and so different into my life, I'm packing up everything I've known and been...and well setting off.  Starting a new chapter, and once again taking the direction of my life in my own hands.  My own choices, my own responsibility.  I think I've been spending a bit too much time of late allowing myself to drift, taking on the interesting things that come, but not really pushing myself for what I want and in the directions that I want.  Well that changes tomorrow when I hit the road.

And perhaps importantly, if just to me is that I'm doing it with the blessings of so many friends.  Nicole stopped by today, and to sit and chat with her, to give voice to what this plan meant to me was indescribable.  And like a true friend, no judgement.  Just acceptance.

That's what goodbyes are.  Goodbyes are partings of friends because they understand.  They accept.  They aren't trying to change, rather they're ready to be there.  As hard, and wrenching as it is to uproot yourself from both your own, and everyone's lives, friends understand.  Friends understand passion, and drive, and bitterness.

Friends offer you a hug and a goodbye when you really need it most.

And in this day and age, even hours away, the friends who are still invested in your life, and you in theirs, will be there.  And like high school, and university, and everything else, the ones who aren't...well won't be...they just fall by the wayside.

Sometimes, goodbyes are a way of sorting out who calls and who doesn't.

Who answers.

And who is just there.