Thursday, September 11, 2014

Drabble - On Depression

Drabble - On Depression

There is this insidious, deep seated weird thing in your brain, when every time you hear a compliment you think to yourself "They're just being nice."

That you don't deserve that compliment, that they don't know what else to say, that they are just...well just being nice, and you, pitiful creature in your own head are this unloved, and more pitying, unlovable thing are not worthy of their attention or compliment.

That's what depression is like.  Except it plagues every interaction.  Every word you say to everyone else, every analysis of every discussion, every flicker of body language, shifted gazes or glances away, subtle weight shifts or dropped words.  Everything, in the way other people interact with you, is perceived as being a verification of you being unacceptable or unworthy in some way.

And you know, in a logical, rational way that it can't be that way.

But in your heart, it just doesn't feel like what your brain is telling you.

That's what depression is like.